Where We Left Off...The DM Story

Soooo... after I sent this man a message that I thought was short and sweet, I waited. Was it excruciating? Noooo, but it was becoming downright obsessive until I forced myself not to touch my phone. After about a day, I saw the red little triangle that let me know I got a message and it was from him! Finally! Man, was I happy that he had replied back instead of ignoring me. Very relieved. To finally get to the point of this awkward story, his reply to me was "Ahhh that's really nice thanks!"

I'm not even going to lie to you. The disappointment was real. Rejection never feels good. Yes, it can keep you humble but its not ever a good feeling. In the midst of my disappointment, I didn't want to give a childish response like "I didn't like you anyway". In middle school it might have worked to help put my self confidence back together but not now. I'm a grown woman for pete's sake and couldn't revert to that defense mechanism. With my forced adulting, I replied back "Lol. No problem. Thanks for responding back to my message. I don't communicate like this on social media. So this is a first. Anyway, have a blessed day." Now, I sent that message to him thinking that was the end of our communication.

Sometime later, he sends me another message. We're definitely on a roll. He says "Yea its tough to come across as genuine in somebody's DM's but think its's attainable lol. Just a new form of communication but thanks again and you have a great day."

Then that was it. Door shut on that one.

(Sighing)

Just relived the whole experience again. When I had thought about sharing this recent episode in my life, I went back and forth about sharing it. Who wants to share a rejection story? Feel that moment of rejection again. Nobody! Going back to the beginning of my previous post, I wanted to untwist what was going on in my head before, during, and after the DM episode. Is sliding into one's DM cracked up to be this "thing"? I don't know. Every situation is different right to the individuals involved. For my experience, I did something that I had never done before because what did I have to lose? Do I regret it? Heck no! Would I do it again? I will be contemplating on that for a long time. Lol.

Honestly, I came across a guy who appeared to be what I was looking for based off what he presented to be without knowing who he really was outside of his Instagram/Tinder profile. The desire was there to know more about him and I took a chance. That to me is gold. Regardless of the outcome, I got out of my comfort zone and did something out of the norm. The reality of this situation is that I can't get mad at him for voicing a concern about social media platforms. Where its getting harder nowadays to separate the real from the fake. It bothered me that he didn't want to push for more conversation and at the same time, I had to understand that Instagram was not a dating platform in his eyes. That's why he signed up with Tinder. My thing was how do you know if someone is being genuine on a dating app? Either way, a person doesn't know. Just go with the flow and hope that there is transparency and a genuine connection. In this technological era, its becoming more common to meet people this way. Either through Instagram, Tinder, and any other platforms for that matter.

He didn't know me and my message may have been random. Now, I'm thinking for him. Smh. In my reflections of "Self", I came to the realization that the most important thing about this situation was how I saw myself after the rejection. I had to keep it real and KNOW that there was nothing wrong with ME and that it was okay. He just wasn't meant to be in my life and this was just a learning experience. If he is not feeling me, it's on him. With that being said, I want you (whoever reads and need this) to try not to let the self deprecation consume you. It will keep you in that dark place of unworthiness. I find that it can be a lifetime process of loving oneself but we get better at it as time goes by. I may get on my own nerves a lot of the time but that is part of the package of being with "Self". That is also part of accepting flaws and all. Right? We are willing to do that for other people by loving them unconditionally but get so vexed about ourselves. Take this time to think about the things that you like about yourself. You'll be very surprised that your coolness outweighs the negativity. If you still find that the dislike for yourself outweighs the positives, then lets do something about it.

One of the biggest no no's is doing nothing to nourish the part that is screaming out for it. Although another one bites the dust, it hasn't stopped my quest to find love. It is part of the quest.

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